Kiah Westendorp-Holland
Writing Assignment 4
And there I stood; the building was in ruin, fire was surrounding me, I barely made it out in time. I am only ten years old but have been through more than any 40 year old has. I’m not a killer; not really, it’s not in my personality. But if someone had killed your entire family, wouldn’t you want to kill them too? What kind of person leaves a ten-year-old girl with no family? They would have killed me too, luckily was out getting ice cream when they invaded my house, shooting my parents and my siblings. My parents were not much of parents at all, but my little brother, he didn’t deserve to die. He didn’t. I had to get revenge. With the help of a dear friend I learned how to shoot guns, I learned skills I would need to face those evil villains. I never the chance to do it, I would have if I had had the chance. I would have. Thanks to my friend, all of the men involved in the death of my family were dead, but it was a suicide mission. He is dead to. I really miss him; he was my only friend. After the nice man died, saving my life, I had nowhere to go. And that’s why I am here, I was hoping you could help me. God has to accept everyone, right?
I woke up this morning and immediately knew what kind of day it would be. My alarm went off, I thought I had pressed snooze but I guess in all my sleepiness, my finger slipped. I ended up sleeping in way too late and missed my interview. I have a job as a receptionist at a very catholic school in the city. Living most of my adult life in the nunnery, I was very close to God. I decided to leave because I felt I had “bigger and better things to do.” Yeah right. Working as a receptionist is not what I had in mind. I am still young, 42, and am not married. Being hidden away from men for almost 20 years made that dream nearly impossible. I wish I had stayed, nothing interesting happens here anyway.
I spent my morning as every morning, only about three hours later, and got my donuts and coffee, which I managed to pour all over my skirt. Because I was late, I had no time to change; I had to get to work. Being late here at the school is something that is very frowned upon, not just for the students, but for the adults as well. Sister Anne, the head mistress, decided to punish me by making me stay late sorting through paperwork. I can’t believe I have to stay here, this place kind of creeps me out anyway. Why can’t anything go right? After so many years in the nunnery, I may be losing my faith in God. I am sad, lonely, and have no friends. If something interesting doesn’t happen soon, I may just kill myself. Seriously.
After a couple hours of paperwork, I grew very bored. I knew I had to stay longer but I just didn’t want to. What are they going to do? Fire me? I am completely fine with that. I started to gather my bags when I heard a knock at the door. It was a little girl, sad looking but still obviously filled with confidence. I decided to let her in. This should be interesting.
I like how the beginning of the story could be the dialogue of the littler girl to the noun working at the Catholic school. I’m not sure what you intended the first paragraph to be (letter or something) but I like it. It could almost be the conclusion of your story rather than the introduction. I find it interesting how the little girl in the first paragraph wants to grow closer to God after being very sinful, and the Nun-woman continues to stray farther and farther away from the holy life she once lived. The two characters are opposites, yet, they face/faced the same inner, spiritual struggles. I am a bit confused about what you mean in the last paragraph when the Nun says, “It was a little girl, sad looking but still filled with confidence. I decided to let her in. This should be interesting.” Why is it going to be interesting? Did the girl look homeless? The way you reintroduced the little girl led me astray.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely loved this! Not only was it very well written, but it was as if I was this girl and that I was feeling what she was feeling. The detail was excellent and I really enjoyed the fact that it's not something you would read in an every day life. What I mean by this is that it is harsh and cold and violent, but for some reason you still feel for the girl and you feel sorry for her. I loved to see the contrast between a scared little girl in a more common story line mixed with this young girl who is obviously confident and almost fearless. This story hurts my heart but it is also refreshing to see something cool and different. My favorite parts were the beginning and the end. I loved how it started with that terrific memory as if pulled from a horror story, and ended with an idea that it was all repeating again. Over all, very good in my opinion!
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