Sarah Tredennick
19 October 2010
Sam Williams
10:29am November 1, the time and date when I died. I was dressed in a long white gown with plastic fangs and fake blood dispersed around my body. I was supposed to be the Bride of Dracula, I suppose, but looked more like her post murder. My body had been maimed. The only points of identification left were my soft smile and pretty blue eyes. I looked rather innocent, at first glace, but I lost that attribute after my sixteenth birthday. Secrets and lies consumed my being after that fateful day, but all was laid to rest after this past Halloween night, or so I thought.
Christopher Donavon
REPORT: “Detectives Donavon and Jameson are at the scene of the crime where a the brutal murder of Sam Williams occurred just hours ago in front of Mix Music Lounge. Detectives, what do you have to say about the crime?” Jameson and I moved quickly through the crowd of paparazzi. We had little evidence as to who was Sam’s murderer. There was no need to sway the media towards identifying a potential innocent being of her murder. We proceeded to investigate.
It seemed like only minutes before the chief of police passed Jameson and I a warrant to search Sam’s apartment. She lived just off of the interstate in an old Flour Mill that was recently transformed into an apartment complex. She had only been there a few weeks. Her walls were draped in self-made art depicting anger and affliction. The only one that waivered from the theme was a self-portrait of her and a loved one that sat above her bed. The unidentified boyfriend became the new prime suspect.
The boyfriend’s name was later found to be Matthew Kubik, a personal trainer in the Denver Tech Center area. He was six years her senior. He disclosed the interworking of he and Sam’s relationship, but struck me as hiding something. Upon the arrival of his business partner, Jon Celest, the mystery was unveiled. Jon expressed that he was unaware of the murder, but was very sympathetic towards Matthew and Sam’s recent break-up. I felt it was necessary to probe for more information.
I searched Sam’s computer only to find email correspondences between her and Matthew. The emails were filled with dialogue about an abortion that Sam had endured weeks before her death. Matthew was irate about the situation, which prompted the termination of the relationship. Jameson and I then went to Sam’s parent’s house.
Sam’s parents house was filled with pictures of the family. All seemed relatively normal with the exception that the pictures of Sam were only dated before her sixteenth birthday. I followed the pictures of Sam intermixed with Christian faith paraphernalia. It was clear to me, then, that Sam was expected to remain abstinent and pure from all evil to maintain a loving relations with her family.
Sam had maintained a relationship with Matthew behind her parents back through her fifteenth year, but all came to light upon his taking of Sam’s virginity on her sixteenth birthday. Soon after the adolescent mile marker, Sam discovered she was pregnant and had scheduled an abortion. The abortion led to her parent’s notification of such event, which led to Sam’s removal from the house.
Sam’s parents had a clear alibi for the murder, but I questioned their decision to remove Sam from the house after the abortion. I was in no place to judge or question further. The abortion took place two weeks after the birthday and the murder occurred two weeks after that.
Upon returning to Matthew’s apartment, Jameson and I were unnerved by the state of the place. It was apparent that Matthew had fled the apartment in fear of being caught. Jameson called in a description to the local media while I searched the place more thoroughly. We discovered the knife that murdered Sam in his trashcan and later were radioed by the base center saying that someone had arrested Matthew.
During the interview with Matthew he explained that Sam had murdered a being in the form of her child and retribution must be sought. He killed her out of love for their child. He was taken away in a fit of anger. Jameson and I shook our heads and placed the case to rest still mystified of Matthew’s ignorance and the parent’s actions.
Great job Sarah! I find it difficult to write mysteries, I don’t know why they intimidate me, but you did well! I was instantly drawn into the mystery of Sam’s death. I wanted to know who had killed her and why. I liked that the story was told though the point of view of the detective, and I loved how you entered the narrative (after Sam talks) with the voice of a reporter interviewing the detectives…. It reminded me of a film transition! Parts of the story, like the girl getting pregnant after her first time having sex, the family being Christians who look down on sex, … seemed a little cliché. Still I thought the action flowed well. I would have liked it to be longer, and maybe have more stakes- maybe they don’t catch Mathew that easily? I think there is potential here to play and expand the story. .. but overall I liked it a lot and thought it was effective in narrative and in context to the assignment…
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